Holistic Distance Therapies

Beryl Phala is a Reiki Master/Practitioner in Reiki, Color and Crystal Therapies with a passion to educate, share articles and help people feel better or get well by using various modalities of distant and hands on therapies. Welcome to my HDT blog.

And Finally…Learn to fail systematically

I know this sounds crazy, but the more you prepare for failure, the more successful you will eventually become. How? Well, it all starts with understanding that we live in an imperfect world and that things do fall apart. The best laid plans often do not pan out as we had expected. This is all par for the course. So do yourself a favour, expect setbacks. They will happen and there’s nothing wrong with experiencing that.

The good news is when the setbacks do happen, they do not have to be a disaster. You don’t have to backslide to where you started before you try to improve your discipline. You don’t have to quit and give up. How do you do this? Well, since you’re expecting a setback and you are preparing for it, you know what to do once it happens.

First, you don’t give in. If you suffer some sort of set back or fall back, don’t give yourself an excuse to just give up. A lot of people cheat this way.
For example, if you’re on a diet and you’re supposed to avoid starchy foods. Well, one day, you get hit by really insufferable cravings for mashed potatoes or fried rice. So, you give in and you have yourself a big heaping bowl of fried rice, mashed potatoes, pasta or any other food that you’re not supposed to eat. You tell yourself, “Well, there goes the diet for this day. So, I’m going to indulge myself by eating nothing but carbs for the rest of day, and I will get back on the program tomorrow.

What do you think happens next? That’s right, tomorrow never comes. Once you give in whatever discipline you’ve managed to build up prior to that point, starts to erode. Worst yet, it erodes very quickly.

So prepare for this and tell yourself it’s okay to fall off the wagon. That’s fine, but do not use this as an excuse to stay off the wagon. Focus on getting back to the program as soon as possible and reducing the time you take to snap back to where you were before things fell apart.

This enables you to develop a tremendous amount of tenacity, perseverance, and adaptability. Get used to snapping back until it becomes second nature. This way, even if you get hit with a really strong temptation and you can’t help but give in, the next thing you do is to go back to where you were before. This way, whatever damage you’re "cheating” or “failure” dealt, will be small or inconsequential in the big scheme of things.

It all boils down to getting used to snapping back. Get so used to it that you lose any negative emotional association with it. This is no time to beat yourself up, this is no time to play emotional games with yourself. Adopt these best practices and you will be able to handle setbacks like a disciplined pro.

Posted 2 weeks ago
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Posted 2 weeks ago

Scale up systematically
By this point, you should be getting used to acting in a more disciplined way. You should be doing the things that you need to do that are absolutely crucial to your success.
You have probably gotten over your fear or insecurity about the things that you normally would stay away from. Congratulations. But the problem is you can’t become a disciplined person by choosing to practice self-control once in awhile or most of the time. You’re going to have to do it all the time. This sounds impossible, but with the right system, you can get there sooner rather than later.
By this point, it should already be clear to you that scaling up discipline is all about stepping up when things have become easy. For example, maybe you used to park right next to the entrance at your local grocery store. After a few weeks, you may have managed to park fairly far away. This is great, but you shouldn’t stop there. Things may be comfortable at this point, you may be thinking that this is a comfortable distance, and you’re taking your time, parking at the farthest point away from the entrance.
When you scale up systematically, you focus on when things get easy. Believe me, walking from where you’ve parked now to the front door of your corner grocery store would have been unthinkable a few months or weeks ago. Now you’re able to do it and it seems easy. Well, this is precisely the point where you scale up. Once things wanted become easy, you then scale up and decide to park farther and farther away.
Your cue is when things become easy. Unfortunately, if you’re just going with your hunches, you’re probably will end up sabotaging yourself, become impatient one day and backslide. You will find yourself where you started. To keep things going, you need to scale up systematically.

How do you do this? First, you need to scale up intensity. In the case of parking farther and farther away from the entrance, keep parking further away. Go for the halfway point now and the farthest parking slot from the entrance. Once you’ve gotten comfortable with that, pick the next. Then ultimately, you will reach the farthest point from the entrance
This also applies to workout. Maybe you are lifting 10-pound weights. Increase the intensity of your workouts by stepping up the number of repetitions you do. Next, scale up the weight of the dumbbells and bars you are lifting.
When you are practicing discipline with food, you may want to increase the number of foods you choose not to eat. For sample, if you started out by consciously avoiding bread, rice, mashed potatoes or any other high carbohydrate food item, you might want to increase the number of foods you’re staying away from.
Similarly, if you are practicing disciplined by reading lots of books, try to increase intensity by reading more difficult books. These are fairly easy to find. Lots of a books out there take a lot of effort to read. Add a few more of those titles to your weekly reading list. Get used to them. Once you become comfortable with them, add more titles
Finally, if you are trying to step up your personal discipline by hanging out with toxic people, spend more time with very difficult people. People who are very hostile and with bad attitudes and overcome your personal reservations against them. Sometimes you have to immerse yourself with really problematic people to achieve a breakthrough.
You also might want to scale up volume
If you are trying to practice discipline by reading, increase your word count. If you are at 10,000 words per week, once things have settled down and you have gotten used to reading that many words, step it up to maybe 15,000 or even 20,000. It all depends on what you’re comfortable with.
Also if you are hanging out with very difficult people, increase the amount of time you spend with them. This goes a long way in helping you control your emotions and help you become a less reactive person.
Scale-up scheduling
If you’re using your current daily schedule to become a more disciplined person, you can scale things up by sticking to a narrower window to an hour time frame in which to cheat.
People are able to stick to a fixed schedule because they have a fairly wide window of when to show up or when to do certain things. You can scale up the discipline that you’re getting from your daily schedule by narrowing this window. Previously, you needed to be somewhere between 4:30 and 5:00. You can narrow that between 4:40 to 5:00, then scale it up to 4:50 and 5 p.m.

The bottom line here is quite simple. You need to increase your discipline and patience by constantly challenging. It really all boils down to knowing when to scale up. Personally, the most effective approach based on my experience, is when things get easy. That’s when you know you’ve achieved a routine. That’s precisely what you need to break out of because it’s very easy to feel like you can coast.

Posted 4 weeks ago
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Posted 4 weeks ago

Build Greater Self-Control Using a System
In this chapter, I want to open your mind to the concept of system building. The problem with building discipline really boils down to consistency, constancy and feedback. While keeping a journal can definitely go a long way in helping you monitor whatever solutions you have come up with over time, it’s simply not going to be enough.
While a journal can do a good job of helping you compare where you are from where you started as far as your self-discipline level is concerned, you need to be more proactive. You need to adopt a pattern of behavior as well as a pattern of thinking that pretty much sustains itself.
Let’s be honest here. If you’re reading this book, at this point in time, you’re really pumped up about getting more discipline. Maybe you have a clear understanding of the benefits of this trait. Perhaps you were trying to get yourself out of a difficult situation.
The problem is once you start building self-discipline, it’s very easy to lose track. It’s very easy to just let your emotions get the better of you. Maybe your work shift changes. Perhaps your relationships go through some turbulence.
Whatever the case may be you get thrown off track. You may not be as passionate or as energized before. Before you know it, your efforts at building self-control and discipline go down the tubes.
In other words, your personal journey starts to look more and more like how people tackle diets. If you’ve ever gone on a diet, you should know exactly what I’m talking about. In the beginning, you’re all excited to avoid certain types of foods. You stick to your meal plan.

However, sooner or later, all sorts of details from your personal life kind of throw you off track. You start thinking that maybe I can cheat for one day and that “cheat day” turns to a “cheat week” which quickly turns into a “cheat month” and, before you know it, you’re off your diet.
The same applies to building self-discipline. You can’t just play it by ear. This is why I suggest that you build a system. When you use a system, you tap into a personal mechanism that is more sustainable.
Also, you tap into a way of doing things that can be broken up and diagnosed in modules. You don’t have to either accept it wholesale or throw it away wholesale. You can break it up. You can mix and match and drop things that don’t work for you.
Moreover, when you act in a systematic way, you produce more predictable results. You’re more likely to get the outcome that you expect.
Setting Up Your Own System Framework
First, let me begin with the bad news. The bad news is I cannot out just cram my personal discipline-building system down your throat. This doesn’t work on a one-size-fits-all, cookie- cutter basis.
What may work for me may not necessarily work for you because we all have different sets of personal circumstances. After all, we all come from different backgrounds and we have different experiences. You have to account for all those differences. This is why I’m just going to suggest a framework and then you fill it in based on what’s going on in your life as well as your experiences.
First, you need to adopt a tracking system. This is your journal. Start out slow and low but, eventually, stick to common daily parameters when doing your journal.
Next, you have to adopt some sort of process. This is a multi-month plan. You have to hold yourself accountable by setting up targets. Say to yourself, “Now, I eat 3000 calories a day. Once a certain amount of months pass, I can get that down to 2500 or 2000”, so on and so forth.
Use such multi-month plans for discipline-building in different areas of your life.
Also, make it a point to actively identify and seek discipline-building opportunities every single day. When you look at your daily routine, see where those opportunities typically occur and make full use of them.
Constantly challenge yourself. You can even set up your daily tasks reorganized along your discipline goals. This is how you build a system that sustains itself and scales up results over time.
This is also how you hold yourself accountable. The chances of quitting decrease dramatically if you are using a discipline-building system.

Posted 5 weeks ago
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Posted 5 weeks ago

Track and Monitor Your Personal Discipline Journey

A lot of the tips that I have given you here involve your mind. They also involve your daily routine. Unfortunately, if you were to go on your personal discipline-building journey based solely on what you’re feeling or your moods or what you “committed” to, you may be setting yourself up for failure.
Please understand that if you really want to become more disciplined in an efficient and effective way, you have to track your progress. At the very least, you have to monitor what you do on a day-to-day basis when confronted with certain stimuli.
This enables you to connect the dots better. This enables you to detect patterns in a more efficient way, which can lead to better coping mechanisms and improved solutions.
It’s hard to stay on top of all that if you’re just keeping it all in your head. Start a discipline journal. Get it all down in writing.
This doesn’t mean that you have to write a novel like Dostoyevsky. You don’t have to do that. There’s no need to overdo things. You can start low and slow. Maybe just a few lines every day. Eventually, you will get so used to tracking your progress that you probably would write longer and longer entries.
Don’t think that you have to start with long entries. There’s no need for such massive journal entries. As long as you get a clear idea when you look at your journal as where you started, what you experienced and how you can overcome your challenges, you’re in a good spot.

Scale Up Your Entries and Detail
The good news about keeping a journal is that it feels like you’re engaged in a dialogue with yourself. This personal conversation gets deeper and more interesting over time. This is due primarily to the fact that you get used to writing a journal.
Once this has become second nature to you, allow yourself to get more and more detailed over time. Eventually, once you have made this part of your routine, you can write really detailed journal entries that can help you achieve breakthroughs as far as your coping mechanisms go.
Maybe you’re hanging onto a very negative mindset. Perhaps you believe in uncertain limiting beliefs that actively get in the way of you improving your personal discipline

Posted 8 weeks ago
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Posted 8 weeks ago
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Posted 10 weeks ago

Discover Coping Mechanisms
When you’re building self-discipline, you’re not just powering through unpleasant situations. You’re not just choosing to take it all on the chin. You’re also putting yourself in a situation to discover coping mechanisms.
For example, if you are working out because you’re trying to be more physically disciplined, you can figure out a way to “read” by listening to audio books.
When you’re running first in the morning, you can play mind games with yourself to keep you mentally alert.
If you are at work going through what would otherwise be thoughtless and mindless tasks, you can gamify them so they are more engaging. You’re also setting yourself up to become more efficient with this work, and you might be able to automate more things or come up with some innovative solutions so as to do a lot more with less time.
Finally, you can learn to simply look at the bright side. This is probably one of the best coping mechanisms you could ever adopt. Instead of automatically thinking that there is no hope, this is the worst thing possible or you just can’t wait to stop dealing with these difficult people, you can force yourself to look at the bright side of every situation.
For example, if you’re dealing with a toxic person, in your mind, celebrate what’s great about them. The toxic aspects of their personality may be obvious but when you make it a point to focus on what’s so awesome about them, you’re not only able to put up with them, but you can deepen your relationship as well.

Identify the Times You Wish to Quit
Let’s face it if you try to be more disciplined, the temptation to want to quit is going to come up again and again. Instead of just dealing with this on a random basis, try to look for patterns. Figure them out. Once you notice that they do come in certain patterns or they’re triggered by certain predictable events, people or situations, learn how to counteract them.
Maybe you need to adopt a certain attitude when these things happen or perhaps you need to adopt a certain routine. Finally, you can just choose to wait them out. Whatever the case may be don’t just let a sense of hopelessness overcome you and push you to quit. Instead, anticipate that and prepare for them so you can come out on top.

Posted 10 weeks ago

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