There are more ways to try and find who you really are. It is best likened to the peeling of an onion where only the true self is left. A good place to start is to review all of what has happened to you in this lifetime and the major events. The point is not to wallow in them or take pride in achievements. Just draw a linear map of the major events that happened, what their effect on you was, and try to see the bigger picture. This will help to build a degree of objectivity.

In terms of finding self, you do not want to be dependent in any way. So look at all the ways you are emotionally, mentally, physically, or financially dependent on other people and things. Become as self-sufficient as possible. This could entail an eliminating of cigarettes or bad food and finding a new job where you work for yourself. It will be different for everybody.

Finding self is an individual process. Nobody has ever self- realized themselves together. It is just not the way that the universe works. Groupthink is the antithesis of individual empowerment. Because even in groups, solutions only come from one individual with one spark of inspiration.

There is no way to share creativity or ingenuity because it comes from within. This means that when you are finding the self, the practices that you use and the philosophy that you adopt will be yours alone. If you simply copy what others are doing, then you are already disempowered, and will never find the self. Without making decisions of your own volition, you are not giving yourself any power.

Self Love - How To Build Your Self Esteem & Heal Your Body, Mind & Soul.

Self-love is perhaps one of the most fundamental yet misunderstood concepts in the world right now. Some dismiss it as a new age ideology that cannot be applied in practical terms. But nothing could be further from the truth. This series will show you practical steps with regard to developing self-love. It will also explain what it is and outline the history of the trait and how it has been a core foundation of all spiritual teachings.
Self-love is the ultimate way to boost your self-esteem and become a fully healed and integrated human being. People often come at the idea backwards. They look at attributes such as the way that a confident person walks or observe their traits. But fundamentally, all radical change begins from within. You then start to really value yourself as a powerful creator of your own reality and deserving of love and respect from everybody. Self- love is the opposite of selfish. You cannot love another person unconditionally unless you love yourself first.
Self-love is not about engaging in destructive patterns of behavior and turning a blind eye. It has nothing to do with arrogance or narcissism and everything to do with becoming a fully whole and integrated individual.
When you are able to exercise self-love, your life will become so much easier. This is because you will not sabotage yourself as much, which is what everybody does with their beliefs about unworthiness. You will also have much more stability in your life as you will no longer depend on others for fulfillment. Your emotions and reactions will not be volatile and you will actually become detached (but not uncaring) from a lot of stuff that goes on in the world.
Love is the ultimate building block of the entire universe. Humans are born into the arms of loving parents and die with their loved ones around them (ideally). They live and die by love alone. In the words of Gautama Buddha:
“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you”

Your ability to love yourself and others is all that really matters. How to get there is another matter entirely. For this, you have to find out who you are and love yourself unconditionally.